27

Write a letter to aliens. If you don’t believe aliens exist, write a letter to God. If you don’t believe in God, write a letter to Jussie Smollett – somebody has to believe in him. Damn, that’s fire right there, Bill. And timely!

25

Write about the last good dream you remember having. If you can’t remember your last good dream, use mine: I could fly and my parents still loved each other.

24

Write about the events leading up to the first 23 hour day.

23

Write something that will fit on a hot sauce packet. Write as many hot sauce packets as you want; nothing’s stopping you today.

22

Write a commercial for the “leading” toothpaste only two out of ten dentists recommend.

21

Write an obituary for somebody who died at their suprise birthday because of the suprise.

20

Write twenty sticky notes to place around the office. They don’t have to be passive aggressive, but you do have to pretend you’re Bobby Kotick and it’s your last day at work. Because… you know.

19

Write a story about a person who is the last human reader/writer of the English language. Place it in the year 2025 because… you know.

18

Write your own Winnie the Pooh adventure. And sell it; it’s legal now.

17

Write a short story about losing your wallet. Throw in a simple recipe at the end and call it a food blog.

16

Write a New Year’s resolution for the person you like least.

15

Write about a person who’s always been afraid of the number 14. And, at last, for a good reason.

13

Write about a person who’s lucky number has always been 13. You know, until the story starts.

11

Write a Christmas carol about a Christmas Karen.

2341

Write a review for a video game you’ve never played – just like the professionals.

1925

Write a short story where nobody dies from a rampaging giraffe. At least, not anybody that didn’t deserve it.

465

Write what you think people say about you behind your back.

2192

Write a letter to your favorite author. When you’re done, write back to yourself as your favorite author.

2203

Write a yearbook entry for a world leader. Like, you went to high school with Nelson Mandela and he wants you to sign his yearbook.

1064

Write about a DMV employee who never has to wait in lines when they’re out and about doing errands.

5279

Write the details of your first kiss and then turn them into the tragic story of your last kiss.

6214

Write an apology to my girlfriend for what I’ve done. Use your imagination – just like her.

9151

Write about something good that happened to you today, but add a bear to it.

6743

Write about what you did on your last day off. Alternatively, you can write about what happened to you on your last day off.

6155

Write your name on a wall in your home. Imagine what the house will be worth once you finally get around to finishing that novel, son.

3567

Write your dating profile as if you were intentionally trying to land the ugliest person you possibly could. On the inside. Ugliest person. On the inside.

1426

Rebut something that you disagreed with in the news today.

4424

I would like to apologize for yesterday’s fun fact about J.D. Salinger. When I said he wasn’t a real person — that was wrong. J.D. Salinger was a real person. Shakespeare was a total fake, though.

3712

Define “potential”. And use it in an example involving a relationship

3221

Write a fantasy epic. No inventing a language. No starting en media res opening. In fact : no world building, either. Keep it stupid.

4286

Translate a chapter you’ve already written into Spanish on Google Translate. Translate it back and email it to your mom.

643

Write a strategy guide for a video game you know like the back of your hand.

1729

Arrange a haiku out of the names of your three closest friends. If you don’t have enough letters you picked the wrong friends.

1069

Take your least favorite memory and write your way out of it.

750

Write your list of demands for giving me my son back. Anything. Whatever you want. Just bring Joshua back to me. Can you hear me, Joshua? It’s your momma. Momma loves you, baby. Momma’s gonna save you.

704

Write one paragraph of exposition, two lines of dialogue, and three words for the ending. That’s a story.

989

Write about your favorite county lock-up experience.

519

Write the back cover blurb for a book that starts with the letter “G”. It’s The Giver. You picked The Giver.

1006

Write a short story in pencil and then erase all the adjectives. Is your story still good? Who knows.

627

Write a three-panel comic strip that is actually a coded message. Send help.

623

Write a three-panel comic strip that elicits anger, not laughter.

85

Write a fable that includes a moral lesson you think kids with helicopter parents would enjoy.

765

Write a story that isn’t true, even for the narrator.

392

Write a letter to your next door neighbor with an apology for the power going out at their place last night.

812

Write a warning label for your least favorite friend.

589

Write a missed connection. Your missed connection was wearing nothing in a supermarket. You only noticed their eyes.

507

Write story no articles no punctuation no names too okay good luck

717

Write a new ending to “Frankenstein”. Like, just add another page. That’s all I need. One more page.

800

Write a menu for a restaurant trying to hide the fact all the food is microwaved.

429

Write something — anything, really — that includes the dialogue “You give sloths a bad name, Jerry.”

1045

Write an your last will and testament on hot dog with the condiments.

909

Write an essay about Aristotle or something and it was due like, yesterday.

899

Write a script for the actor playing you at tonight’s dinner. Have we done that one yet?

898

Write a script for the actor playing your butler at tonight’s dinner. This guy isn’t getting paid.

896

Write a script for the actress playing your girlfriend at tonight’s dinner.

484

Write a list of things you’d like to forget and see if that was a good idea.

590

Write dialogue between two characters named Eugene Caviar and Eugene Caviar Jr.

774

Write wedding vows for people who don’t really love each other.

913

Write a grocery list for your most recently invented villain.

387

Write a joke about Mike Lindell. It’s easy and it really doesn’t matter what your politics are. Write the joke.

478

Write your favorite memory from high school but replace everybody with large birds.

98

Write a play and credit it to William Shakespeare.

821

Write about the things she left behind in both your heart and home.

56

Write a review for your favorite frozen food. If you don’t have a favorite frozen food, live a little.

563

Write down the circumstances in which your biography ends up being titled “Naked Plans” or “The Long Fart”.

438

Write a news report about somebody who died of being a picky eater.

939

Write a love story between two of your coworkers who most definitely are not in love. Change the names so you can keep your job.