Write about a UFO getting a traffic citation.
9825
Write a traffic citation.
9824
Cancel tonight’s rehearsal. But not tomorrow’s wedding. Lie about both.
9158
Write a math problem involving too many farm animals.
817
Write a ten sentence story. Throw it all away and rewrite it with eight sentences. Do it again and come back with four.
7765
Write a speech about somebody named Ted. Call it whatever you want.
2330
Write about my mother.
2329
Write about your father.
6721
Write about on which side you stand in the Great Gatorade/Powerade War of 2027.
8572
Write a short story than ends in long-term medical debt.
7009
Write a review for your weekend.
1023
“Get that copy of Frankenstein 2 on my desk by Tuesday, Mary.”
6307
Write later.
7150
Write the last Tweet.
1114
Write an apology for something somebody else did. Be sure to throw some shade.
5610
Write a conspiracy theory. Or, don’t!
804
Write a tracklist for your self-titled album.
7431
Write a note about yesterday.
7432
Write a note for tomorrow.
8512
Write ten nice things about yourself and turn it into a Buzzfeed-style listicle.
120
Write about who you suspect is plotting your demise.
6557
Write where you think the word “ruckus” came from.
1359
Write about why you picked that milk for your latte.
3945
Write about somebody falling into — and then out of — love.
8411
Write about somebody falling into — and then out of — a well.
416
Threaten a piece of paper with a good time.
8205
Write a commercial for your podcast that doesn’t involve food or therapy.
2571
Write a “get well soon” card to somebody who probably shouldn’t.
748
Write the prologue to the Cheesecake Factory menu.
1044
Write about the Anti-Defenestration League’s most recent screw up.
369
Write about a time the ants finally turned the magnifying glass back on the teenager.
9562
Write a short story through status updates.
197
Write a scathing review of at least one of your birthdays.
2001
Write an infomercial for your broken heart — now available in three easy payments.
8705
Write about the day Wing World mistakenly received a large shipment of wigs instead of chicken.
711
Write a comic book featuring your pet — but not as the hero.
601
Write about somebody who was lucky enough to guess how many beans were in the office jar, but not lucky enough to know they were deathly allergic to them.
5818
Write a trailer for a horror movie based off of the song “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”. Coming this Summer.
682
Write about coffee.
412
Write a summary of your week. Add helmets.
7790
Write a love letter to your favorite food.
9302
Write about a time you were on a game show.
5005
Write a little ditty.
881
Start writing a sequel to something you haven’t even finished yet.
287
Write about your most recent missed opportunity involving baked goods.
314
Write a caption for the last photo you took that doesn’t have you in it.
9793
Write a description of interrupting somebody’s last meal with general frivolity and hoopla.
9792
Write a description of your last meal being interrupted by general frivolity and hoopla.
333
What are the charges?
831
Write about your favorite number.
649
Write something on the toilet.
5144
Write a review for a book called The Chronicle Chronicles. The book is popular with kids these days but you aren’t sure why.
7701
Write a scene involving a person losing their phone whilst on a call.
1890
Write a plea to your local government urging the taxpayer-free resolution to the recent kidnapping of your local government. Racoons are, once again, responsible.
3943
Phone it in.
9645
Write the text message you should have sent and the text message you actually did.
6352
Explain the racoon markings around our house, Margaret. Your father and I are very worried.
2277
Write the feature that will save your favorite entertainment news site from failing. You know the one.
397
Write a bedtime story for people with long attention spans.
4467
Write your two-weeks notice knowing full well you’re not showing up ever again.
135
Write a sentence for each day of the month and then call it a story.
828
Write a wedding invitation for two famous figures separated by circumstances – and time.
5538
Write the first draft of your last will and testament.
530
Write rules to a new sport involving cats. It’s an Olympic sport, too.
780
Write something gross; it’ll be good for you — but not your protagonist.
8275
Write The Lord of the Rings from the perspective of somebody who is plagiarizing The Lord of the Rings.
310
We all know the first words said on the moon. Write what will be the last.
179
Write. Quick, before they see us together.
4329
Write a Yelp review for a Driver’s Ed course, but the Driver is Adam Driver and you were not amused to find that out.
712
Write something A.I. couldn’t.
240
Write a believable news report about raccoons kidnapping your future mother-in-law.
6021
Write about two scientists arguing whether a snake with legs is even a snake. Then the snake eats them.
4518
Write a short play. The first line is “Sorry” and the last line isn’t.
597
Neatly summarize your existence without adverbs.
690
Write about a haunted house without all the creaky floorboards.
4861
Write about the new tallest person in the world.
3822
Write dialogue between two people eating a meal they don’t enjoy. Furthermore, neither are expecting to pay for said meal.
-464
Write a warning label intended for a water bottle.
9275
Write a joke about a duck in a bucket.
7128
Write about a person who accidently picks up the wrong prescription for the last time.
835
My wife left me for a fortune cookie “author”.
638
Express your condolences on colored construction paper.
994
Write a description for today as if you needed to sell it to afford tomorrow.
6261
Write a rhyme about the time you accidently ate a lime.
105
Write your own eulogy as if you are attending your own funeral. Directly address your living presence.
2252
Write a grocery list for yourself if you were ten years younger. Think about your hips this time around.
952
Write a new “About Me” for your website. If you don’t have a website, write a new “About Me” for my website. Go wild.
7221
Write a book. A whole book.
329
Write a series of hashtags for life events that don’t need hashtags. Pretend somebody cares.
346
Write a disclaimer for a coffee shop’s new Everything Bagel. Go wild.
645
Write a schedule for tomorrow. Insert the best time for your mother-in-law to telephone. The conversation will be mostly explaining how tabs work on Firefox as well as tipping during a pandemic.
2839
It’s a quinceñera but the birthday girl is 42.
629
Write somebody else’s name in the snow.
212
Make up a new flavor of Coca Cola. Write an apology from the company a month later. The apology has to be about the new flavor but not about the new flavor, if you get me. You got this champ. You’re a company man now.
3812
Write about two people not stuck in a time loop.
2808
Write about that time with all the ants. You remember.
4405
Write what you think the word “pragmatism” means. Use it in a sentence. Use it in two.
423
Write your explanation for the funniest word in your favorite dictionary.
5147
Write a short conversation between two long people. Or snakes.
70
Write a dating profile that doubles as a warning for maintaining a heavy electrical appliance.